There are days you’re filled with doubt.
There are days you’re filled with passion.
There are days where you’re so on fire and you have every capacity available at your fingertips to help out another human being in need.
And then, there are the darkest deepest days. Sometimes, they last for just one day. For others, it lasts for years.
No matter how long it lasts though, you feel you’ve become Terminal.
The doctor says I’m dying
I die a little every day
But he’s got no prescription that could take my death away
Doctor says it don’t look so good
It’s terminal*
We have infinite tools to make our own visions come true. I believe in having a vision, because visions must change and we have to evolve with them. When you make a plan for your vision and work toward the goals set, you can at least say that you’ve tried even if you fail a hundred times. If you want it bad enough, you’ll likely find a way to make some version of your vision a reality. That’s usually what happens.
Maybe that’s why 80 percent of people who graduate never use their degree…because they’ve found something better than their original vision along the way.
…..
But.
It blows my mind how easily I gave up in the past.
IT BLOWS MY FLIPPING MIND.
My first choice of profession was inspired by stormy skys and it escalated after Hollywood came out with a film called…
It came out in 1996 and I remember it well even though I was 12. I’d still be able to watch this movie time and time again, but I don’t even know if I own it anymore because I had it in the form of a VHS tape. I only know one person who still owns a VHS player — I’m not kidding.
Speaking of going back in time, in 1996, when I was a kid, things were so much easier.
“We were small, but fast. Remember?”
(That line is from the Maserati Super Bowl 2015 commercial. I wrote that blog post because I have a need for speed, and if you click on that link, go to the very bottom to watch the commercial).
And yes, I do remember. I was a smart kid.
My two wheels of freedom (small, but fast):
I am a smart adult finding my way, even on the dark days when I feel lost.
I didn’t give up on my vision of being a storm chaser, but my passion for fast things did change into cars. And then my passion changed direction again to writing songs, and one day I found myself holding a songwriters recording contract that I never signed at the age of 15. My dad, who was on the radio side of the music business, read it over and advised me to not sign it. He knew of my love music, so I trusted his judgement.
But I still wrote, even after that.
I went to college and decided to get involved in things I never did in high school. It took me 10 years (approximately) to figure out (or at least grasp) the idea of what it is I want now. That’s a lot of extra time.
Not fast.
I’ve evolved and learned how to talk to people at happy hours that I felt insignificant pitching myself to.
And then, I joined the cubical crowd at 29 because that was the only way I knew how to grow in my profession (i.e. I climbed the corporate ladder). Once I had the “talking” part down, pitching myself to employers became easier. You have to know what you’re selling and why you’re a good fit. I learned so much. I’m still learning and it will never, ever stop.
Some folks die in offices
One day at a time
They could live a hundred years before their soul’s already died
Don’t let your spirit die before you body does
We’re terminal”
I was a small fish in what felt like a big pond.
My newest vision? October is going to be a big month for me. It involves turning a year older (bring on the Facebook “HB Rachel” posts), a fast car, and me knowing whether or not a vision I came up with 14 months ago for Switchfoot will come to life.
Someone asked me the other day, “What drew you into this band? Why are you such a fan of them?”
I answer that question here.
Stand, but don’t stay in the middle,
Rachel
*Terminal — this is a song by Jon Foreman (leader singer and songwriter of Switchfoot — a band that’s been around since 1996):
P.S. I think life goes something like this:
Commnunity
Brand Identity
Purpose
Vision