The shadow proves the sunshine.
[This post is part of my 101 Day of Blogging series, inspired by Experience Life magazine’s 101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy, authored by Pilar Gerasimo.
Today is Day 39. I have not been consistent as you’ll see here, but that’s OK because I’m admitting that out loud.]
I went for a walk around Clifton French Regional Park today (Sunday) after I discovered it yesterday. The point was to take pictures (didn’t have my camera on me yesterday) and just be — by myself.
Rewind for a moment. On Thursday, I unpacked and recharged one piece of technology I own: my SONY Cyber-shot camera. She’s a beauty and takes amazing, amazing photos. Photography for me is one form of my personal creative outlet and I won’t share all photos on social that I took today because it doesn’t make sense to do that. Then, there’s my Canon HD HF M32 camcorder which needs a new battery and I want to give life back to her too so I can put still shots and video together. I don’t know what to do my first project yet and I’ve never done a storyboard to help me develop an idea, though I’m not sure it would help.
Technology. Creative Juices. Shadows.
The shadows do prove the sunshine; the sunshine of my inner soul and the creative visions I have buried over time which are beyond thirsty to be given an opportunity to flourish again. That means that even if the projects turn out to be premature content I’ll want to bury in a six months from now, I should still DO SOMETHING which will show I mean business.
What does that look like then? Video production, photography and storytelling, even if the video doesn’t have human beings in it even though the middle of in between is a phrase that means you’re always discovering who YOU are. Every day. I am discovering who I am more so every day now than ever. Standing, but not staying in the middle. Moving. Belonging. Finding the commonality that’s good for my soul.
If you’ve made it this far, What are you made of? My email *points to you* is rachel.ryan09@gmail.com and I’d love to hear from ya.
I want to know your story.
Truth: I’ve “boxed” up my creative shadows, and put ’em in a corner. Why? I didn’t have a plan. Damnit this pisses me off so much. In college, I didn’t stop and ask myself really at any point the deep question of, “Gee, WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO?” Ya know, the adult job thingy that helps you pay your bills and then some. Thankfully, it came to me but unfortunately, I ignored it for a long time and I became afraid/too shy to ask for what I wanted (i.e. meet with people who do what I was good at — shadow them and learn).
Can you tell how frustrated I am right now?
If you don’t ask for what you want, you’re never going to get it….so:
See a theme here? I even own this book (bought it from a store in Las Vegas in May 2009):
I opened it multiple times but never got past a certain chapter. How could I make cool stuff and get compensated for my efforts? I didn’t have an answer.
My shadows of creation from college (they’re in a 3-ring binder in my room and not available in digital format) show that I am capable and the sunshine is going to be there tomorrow, even if I fall down and have a bad-horrible-no-good day.
I made a move today and I’m learn how to breathe again and create again. I’m giving myself permission.
Stand, but don’t stay in the middle,
Rachel